Help a child with autism participate in family
life and vacations
By Caroline Eggerding, M.D.
Life can be challenging for families
of kids with autism – but it can still include fun, friends and extended
family.
Some families may isolate
themselves, sacrificing family gatherings, holidays and vacations because they
don’t know how to set the stage for a stress-free time.
It’s not a simple task, but it can
be accomplished if you accept, adapt and stay flexible.
Accept—Your child has special
needs. Nothing will change that.
Adapt—Don’t forego
family fun, but learn the triggers of negative behavior in your child, so you
can avoid them.
Stay flexible—Things will not
always go the way you’d like, so be ready to shift gears quickly.
To make the most of special family
times:
- Know your
child.
Learn from past experiences. Keep a journal to help identify what events,
sights and sounds trigger negative behavior. Your child may not be able to
handle certain experiences, no matter how well-prepared you are. If you
want to attend an event with all of your children, you may need to limit
your time there. Watch for distress signals. If you see any, move your
child to a quieter area where he or she can play with a comforting toy you
brought along. If this doesn’t work, leave earlier than planned.
- Keep the
“family” in family fun. You may have to forego some family
occasions, but your entire family doesn’t have to. Find a way for your
other children to attend, with you if possible. Is there a caregiver you
could hire to stay with your child with autism, so the rest of the family
can enjoy the celebration? If so, do it and enjoy the party. Don’t feel
guilty. That guilt can be harmful to the whole family.
- Rehearse the
situation.
Visit the site in advance, and scout out an area where you and your child
can quietly retreat if needed. If you plan to visit a faraway amusement
park, go to a local one first. See how your child reacts. Note sensory
likes and dislikes. If you plan a beach vacation, find a local lake or
even a sandbox where you can test your child’s reaction to sand and
extended exposure to sun and water. A child with autism can experience
sensory overload very easily. Sand between his or her toes may be
unpleasant.
For a verbal child, talk through what
will happen that day. Arrange secret signals and honor your commitment to
respect those signals. If you have to leave, remember that face-saving can be
very important for older children with autism. Offer an age-appropriate reason
why your child may not participate fully in the event.
Here are some more tips:
·
Be realistic. High-stress
vacations with multiple events and moves or long travel plans will not work
with your child. If you’re planning such a vacation, consider respite care for
your child with autism. Visit respite agencies until you find one that makes
you feel comfortable. Again, don’t feel guilty. Your entire family will suffer
if your other children have to sacrifice their vacation.
·
Keep it simple. During your trip,
plan to arrive early or late to avoid crowds. Avoid tight schedules. Some
destinations accommodate children with autism. For example, Disney World offers
separate waiting areas for rides, away from crowded lines. Call ahead to see if
your destination offers this, and always travel with a doctor’s note, in order
to gain access to these areas.
·
Remember familiarity. Always bring
along items that your child enjoys, like favorite foods and comforting toys.
·
Stay with the routine. Children with
autism like routine, so try to keep one as much as possible. If your child is
used to wearing certain clothes on specific days of the week, getting up at a
certain time, eating certain foods for breakfast and napping at a certain hour,
then maintain that routine.
·
React to distress
signals.
If you see that your child is becoming overwhelmed, respond promptly. This
doesn’t mean the entire family has to stop what they’re doing. One adult can
accompany your child back to the hotel, while the other continues the day with
your other children.
With proper planning and a flexible
mindset, everyday events, family gatherings and vacations can create wonderful
memories for families that have a child with autism.
Dr. Caroline Eggerding is vice president of clinical services and chief
medical officer for Bancroft, a leading nonprofit organization serving children
and adults with autism and other neurological challenges. Based in Haddonfield,
N.J., Bancroft provides special education, vocational, residential and day
services to more than 1,300 people annually. Visit them on the web at
www.bancroft.org.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this guest post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Acting Balanced or its other contributors. Any treatment or course of action mentioned should be discussed with your physician or other care providers before commencing.
